


Rain Dance

by kissartbutts



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Belly Dancing, Crack, Explicit Language, Extremely Dubious Consent, I Don't Even Know, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Magic I Just Made Up, Rain Dance, Thor and Loki Are Both Cocky Assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2601695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissartbutts/pseuds/kissartbutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the God of Thunder finds out villages have been receiving rain without his permission, he demands answers. Turns out that someone has been commanding the rain through some erotic kind of rain dance.</p><p>(That someone just happens to be ridiculously handsome too.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain Dance

**Author's Note:**

> While I'm working on my other long fic, I whipped up a quick oneshot in an hour. Just to warn you, this is unedited and probably just considered crack and an excuse to write dancing Loki. No seriously, expect no deep characterization or plot whatsoever. 
> 
> (Also, let's just say mortals can be sorcerers in this.)

To say the thunder god was mad would be an understatement; he was righteously _pissed off_.

The first time he felt his manhood stir unexpectedly, he paid it no mind. Thor figured he was just subconsciously thinking about one of the pretty concubines. Or perhaps something was in the air. Either way, he simply took care of the problem and went on with his life.

The second time, the desire was overwhelming. He couldn't say who it was for, since he had no one on his mind, but it drove him mad. It took much longer to satisfy his swollen cock and he roared as he reached his peak. It was, quite possibly, one of the best orgasms he's had by his own hand.

The third time, he was in the middle of a meeting with his father and the jolt of arousal was NOT welcome. He had to grit his teeth and suffer through another hour or so of listening to dull diplomacy before he could escape to his chambers and relieve himself.

The fourth time, he was sparring with Volstagg, and if  _that_ didn't scare him...no, the Mighty Thor was not scared of anything. Creeped out, yes, but not scared.

It was too odd to just be a coincidence. It seemed as if it happened on the fifth day of each month, excluding his other moments of desire. This was different though. On these days, he burned and ached to take someone, though no person appeared in his fantasies. It was simply blind yearning and there had to be a reason for it.

Unfortunately, books told him nothing. Their library wasn't exactly stocked with books on that kind of subject to begin with, and the books he found that were said nothing about spontaneous erections that refused to go away--he tried. Unless he took himself in hand or sought pleasure from another, his manhood remained insistent.

The fifth time it happened was during tea time with his mother and by then, he'd had enough. He was not some maiden with her monthlies, he was a _man_ , damnit, and men didn't get monthly hornies. They got constant hornies, but that was beside the point. Thor promised himself he  _would_ get to the bottom of this.

Eventually, he asked Heimdall if anything unusual was going on the fifth day every month. Surely the Gatekeeper would see if one of the realms was up to mischief. Sure enough, Heimdall remarked that yes, there was; there was a young man in Midgard who apparently travelled village to village to grace them with rain. He would perform the sacred rain dance for the gods and then as soon as he finished, it would rain.

Hmm. Thor asked which village he was in now and the Gatekepper said he didn't know, the young man had been cloaked from his vision. A sorcerer, then. Thor thanked Heimdall and took to the Bifrost. He'd have to make a little trip to Midgard, it seemed.

As it turned out, that little trip turned into a long one; this man was so well known, yet completely invisible! Everyone knew of the rain dance he performed, yet no one knew of his whereabouts. Of course, it was hard to make out what the mortals were saying when they were shaking with fear and stuttering. He supposed a disguise for his godliness would be wiser than a direct approach.

Now, this was the twenty-second village he searched, and still nothing. And now it was the fifth day of August. Not wanting to be seen in such a state, Thor was about to leave the village and head home--then he heard voices.

"He's going to do it--he's going to dance!"

"Surely it won't work. We have tried appeasing the thunder god for years and--"

"Hush! This one knows what he's doing."

"Look, look! Here he comes!"

Curious, Thor entered the crowd in his disguise. If the mortals words were true, then he had finally found the elusive dancing sorcerer. He smiled in triumph, but was struck with a realization; if this man was the source of his "problem", then he couldn't be in the crowd. Quickly, he snuck out and climbed into a comfortable looking tree, tall enough to see over the crowd and view the performance.

For a moment, it seemed as if nothing would happen. Then, suddenly, there was a puff of green smoke and the crowd burst into cheers. When the mist cleared, Thor's jaw dropped.

The man was... _gorgeous_. Tall and slender, with slightly toned muscles evident in his arms and legs. His face was narrow and well-crafted, adorning a hooked nose and a pair of mischievous green eyes that took his breath away. He had long tresses of black hair, bangs tucked behind a gold headband with emeralds and sapphires hanging from its rim. Thin spirals of gold dangled from his ears. Nothing covered his chest except for gold and silver chains and necklaces, matching his bejeweled armbands and bracelets. The only garment he wore was a pair of pants that were thin enough to show his knees and stopped at the gold loops around his ankles.

Enchanted, he watched the sorcerer deposit a stack of wood into a chalice and set it on fire, smirking when the pile began to emit a faint green mist. Without further delay, he turned to the drummer sitting behind him and signaled him to start.

The drummer started tapping the drum, setting a slow, hypnotic beat. The young man took a few seconds to absorb it, swaying lightly from side to side and moving his arms in a rippling motion. Thor was already captivated by the pale, elegant hands and the spindly fingers that tickled the air. Keeping his hips in place, he moved his torso side to side like a snack, getting "oohs" from the crowd.

Then there was a loud _THWACK_ from the drummer and the beat quickened.

The young man was a force of nature, leaping gracefully on the ground in a flurry of movement. He stayed in tune with the pulse of the drum, his hips circling around slowly and seductively, thrusting sharply in the air when there was a particularly loud thump of the drum. It was then Thor noticed his skin getting hotter. His loins stirred. Already, he was getting hard at this man's display, and he was too bewitched to care.

The sorcerer's hands reached towards the sky, as if calling out to the thunder god and beckoning him forward. A fist closed around empty air and he swung his arm in a wide arch, dipping down to the ground to stretch his legs apart and--oh, Odin's beard, was he _flexible_. Thor was treated to the hard ridges of his back and the sight of his toned chest and tightened abs before he came back up, gasping as he did so.

Thor's manhood was at full attention now, throbbing and in need of attention. Dazedly, he slipped his palm into his trousers and wrapped it around his member, pumping it in tune with the dancer's steps. The man had started twirling, fast and furiously, cutting through the air like a knife. It was then he stopped in place, turned away from Thor, and slid down to his knees, dragging his hands across his chest, down his sides, and sliding them over his firm behind, just short of nudging his cheeks apart. It was as if he were presenting himself to the thunder god. The thought made his cock twitch.

His hand slowed as the young man did, now slowly reclining to lay on the ground, still on his knees, and close his eyes. He arched his back and strained his neck to press his head to the ground, mouth open as if lost in ecstasy. Thor growled.

All too soon, the sorcerer opened his eyes and made his way back up until he was standing again, swaying his hips side to side for a bit until the drummer increased his pace yet again. It seemed as if this was the finale. The young man went back to leaping about, twisting his waist in the most delicious way as he did. Thor could see the sweat trickle down his skin, cheekbones flushing as he exerted himself. Once again, he was a blur of motion before finally, he spun around on his ankle until he stopped in front of Thor, spreading his legs and placing his palms out flat in front of him, as if bowing. He exhaled and then, head kept down, peered up directly at Thor.

The sight of those fervent eyes is what pushed Thor over the edge. Biting his lip, he stifled a shout as he came into his hand, much harder than the last five times.

It was only after he got his breathing under control and wiped his hand on his cloak that he registered the delighted cries of the villagers and something cold and wet plopping down on his head.

Rain. It was raining.

He didn't know how the sorcerer did it, or whether it was definitely him who did it, but he was going to find out. Determined, he jumped down from his hiding place in the tree and made his way through the crowd until he stood in front of the man. This close, Thor could see he was probably only a few years younger than him, at least appearance wise. As the other man stood up he noticed, to his pleasure, that he was taller than the sorcerer. Who was staring at him curiously, one eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, I don't do encores," he said simply. Gods, even the man's voice was enthralling, deep and soothing like a melody. It also sounded superior, as if the mortal thought himself above Thor somehow. Well, he would take great joy in proving him wrong.

"As enjoyable as it was, I'm not here to ask for a repeat performance," Thor replied smugly. Without further delay, he removed the cloak from his head and revealed his face. The crowd instantly gasped, recognizing the God of Thunder that they had been trying to appease, and fell to their knees in a formal bow. The dancer stayed standing. If anything, he just seemed amused at finding out this was the same god he just danced for. Thor would be lying if he said the lack of fear and worship invoked his rage.

He always liked a challenge.

"Then what is it you seek, God of Thunder?" The title sounded light and mocking instead of respectful, causing Thor's smirk to widen.

"I seek answers, sorcerer. You see," he leaned closely for emphasis, "I have not been the one gracing these mortals with rain and yet here it is." He fixed the other man with what he hoped was an intimidating stare. He noticed the man's hair was getting soaked, the raindrops combining with his sweat-slicked skin and, as he glanced down, drenching his pants until they clung to his skin and became much more transparent than before.

As if noticing his ogling, the shorter man grinned and adjusted his stance, crossing his arms in a clear sign of defiance. "A sorcerer never reveals his secrets, thunderer," was the cryptic reply.

"A mortal will reveal  _anything_ if a god asks him to."

His eyes widened in mock fear. "This does not sound like you asking; this sounds like you threatening."

Thor tried to growl menacingly, for he was a bit annoyed at this point, yet it had no effect as he stepped even closer. "I will do anything to get answers." It was a warning, one that the other man ignored, for he stared up into Thor's eyes defiantly.

"Anything? Hmm. Then perhaps you can--"

Thor would've grabbed him by the shirt if he had one, so he settled for grabbing the other man's neck instead. "Answer me, wretch, for my threats are not as empty as you think they are," he hissed. Finally, the other man's expression went from indifference to wariness. He did not try to remove Thor's hand, but he did rasp out a few unintelligible words.

Huh. Thor didn't think he was squeezing  _that_ hard. He softened his hold, though he continued to glare down at the slightly shorter man.

"I swear upon the name of Odin, Thunderer, that I do not know why it seems to rain without you realizing." He sounded quite earnest and was starting to tense up in Thor's grip. "I might be able to help you figure it out though, if you provided me with more information."

As if Thor needed his help. Then again, it couldn't hurt to try. Although the man seemed like he truly didn't know, he must have some knowledge on magical dilemmas if he was a sorcerer. "Like what?"

"W-well," he stuttered, so Thor released his grip on his neck, taking pity on the mortal. "Does anything unusual occur when it rains without your permission? And whether this happens more than once, when I'm not dancing for your good graces." He paused, as if remembering something. "Now that you are aware of it happening, is it possible for you to stop the rain now?"

That...that was a good question. He didn't know, honestly, but he wasn't about to tell the mortal that. "Of course I can," he answered gruffly. Reaching into his belt, he withdrew Mjolnir and raised her into the sky, calling upon his powers to cease the downpour.

Within a few seconds, the rain ceased and the villagers, still on their knees, groaned. No complaints were voiced though, not wanting to invoke the rage of the thunder god standing before them.

The drenched sorcerer hummed, wringing some of the water from his locks. "So it is your rain," he said to himself. "What about any unusual occurrences?"

Thor fought back a blush. As much as he didn't want to reveal such an embarrassment to this mortal, who might just have the gall to jest about it, he was desperate for a solution. "I will tell you, but know that I will end your sorry life if you laugh or make jest of it," he warned. The other man nodded seriously.

"I..." This was incredibly foolish. "On the fifth day of every month, I seem to be struck with a...strong desire." He tried hard not to fidget. The shorter man blinked in confusion.

"A...certain kind of desire?" He repeated. "A desire for what, exactly?"

He was dimly aware that the villagers were still there and was tempted to go somewhere else, but he stayed put. Thor did not care what some mortals thought of him, or so he tried telling himself. "A strong sexual desire," he answered lowly. "Unlike any other I've encountered and one that will not go away until I...take care of it."

To the younger man's credit, he didn't laugh. In fact, he looked rather relieved. "Oh," was all he said at first. Then, "That particular issue is more common than you'd think."

Surprised, he let out a loud "really?" The younger man nodded.

"It is a thing of the subconscious. When one has not been properly sexually satisfied in a long time--" Thor was about to cut in defending his sexual prowess, but the other man raised a finger, "--not that I am saying you haven't been sexually active or unable to please your partners, but rather, they are unable to please you." Well, he couldn't deny that; he somehow seemed to find fault in all of his bed partners lately. "Because of this, the body starts trying to please itself, which would explain your predicament."

It sounded fairly logical and smart coming from the other man. Except for one thing. "Then why does it happen on the fifth day of every month?"

The sorcerer shrugged. "I'm not sure. That date might have some meaning for you subconsciously and your body just chooses to react because of that meaning. It would require more research on your part." The younger man smiled charmingly, startling Thor for a moment. "Perhaps you should return to Asgard and ask around, see if something particular happened on the fifth."

First he was mocking him, now he was suggesting remedies to him. This man was full of surprises. "Perhaps you are right," he agreed. Now he felt foolish for causing such a commotion, and accusing an innocent man no less. "I hope you will forgive me..." he paused, prompting the other for a name.

"Loki," was the smooth reply. "It is quite alright, thunderer, just make sure to think before you attack innocent mortals for crimes they didn't commit." That cheeky tone was back. "I assure you, I simply dance and pray for rain to fall--nothing more."

Well, Thor was convinced. And still enthralled with the other man, but he didn't want Loki to know that. "Loki," he rumbled. "Then, do me a favor and refrain from hiding yourself from the Gatekeeper when you do. I would much rather see you dance again without searching every village in this realm," he admitted. Loki grinned, all of his previous wariness and tension forgotten.

"No promises, thunderer." And with that, he disappeared in a green flash.

It was strange, how he went from almost bashing the other man's head in to exchanging light quips with each other as if they were old friends. He felt oddly at peace as he ventured back to Asgard, making sure to ask Heimdall to keep an eye out for the sorcerer when he was visible. Thor wanted to know immediately.

The next day, Thor scoured the libraries and asked every friend and family member he could think of about the fifth. No one had any answers for him. Frigga did say that he lost his first tooth on the fifth of May, but that didn't seem sentimental enough. Frustrated, he sparred with his friends until he was worn out and then chose to slump against one of the banisters.

"Is the Mighty Thor tired already?"

Thor groaned. As skilled a sorceress as Amora was, he was in no mood to deal with her knowing eyes and obnoxious flirting. Of course, she still deferred to him if he reminded her of his princely status, but not before making him feel like a total fool. "Amora, leave me be."

Obviously, she didn't. He saw her black heels come into his line of vision as she crouched down in front of him.

"What's wrong, my prince? As your loyal subject and advisor on magic, it IS my duty to help you when you're in need." He was almost certain there was a double meaning behind that remark, but chose to ignore it. He did, however, notice the "advisor on magic" title and had a thought.

"Well then, Enchantress, perhaps you could help me with my problem."

"Anything," she purred, fixing him with a lustful gaze.

He swallowed. "Have you heard of any magic that...that causes unexpected arousal?" he finally blurted out. "On the fifth day of every month," he added. He strongly hoped she wouldn't comment about helping with the arousal.

"Hmm, well I do know some magic--"

"Amora, please, I don't want to hear your _personal_  solution."

That earned him a glare. "No, seriously," she shot back, "I do know of a type of magic that might be responsible. After all, they call me Enchantress for a reason."

He mumbled a meek apology before perking up. "You do? What is it?"

She stood up and Thor stood up with her, watching as she racked her mind for an answer. "Well, there are many different types of seductive charms," she mused, "but there's one I know that is very potent and only has one drawback--it can only be used consistently, on a certain day each month or year, whichever the user chooses."

Finally he was getting somewhere! "Is it a spell you cast?"

"No, it's actually a tree," she specified. "If the user takes part of this tree's trunk and burns it, the trunk will emit an odorless scent that will only affect one person of the user's choosing."

Thor's stomach dropped.

The sorcerer. He had put some kind of wood in the chalice and set it on fire.

"How does it work," he pressed. Amora tapped her chin in thought, leaning her weight on one hip. "It's a kind of charm that is closely connected with thought, so it doesn't act like normal mist. It purposely seeks out the user's target, no matter where they are."

"So it...it can travel to other realms?"

She fixed him with a "duh" look. "I did say no matter where they are, didn't I?"

This was too much. If this were true, if Loki had used this charm, then Thor hadn't been wrong the first time--he'd have made the mistake of TRUSTING that lying, conniving little wretch. And all because it was some mortal prettier than the others too. He felt ashamed.

There was one last chance to save face though. "When the wood is burned, does it emit a specific color?" If she was curious about his specific line of questioning, she said nothing, though she'd certainly interrogate him about it later.

"It depends on the color of the user's casting." When Thor said nothing in reply, she sighed and said, "If they are a magic user, than there magic will have a distinct color. Mine is pink, for example."

His heart thundered in his chest at the realization. Green. The mist was green, just like the puff of green smoke and the flash of green when the sorcerer disappeared. That just confirmed his mistake then.

"Thank you so much for your help, Amora, now I know what my problem is," he told her, clapping her on the shoulder in thanks. She smiled and looked at him curiously.

"My pleasure, prince, but--"

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with that problem." With that, he stormed off to confront the Gatekeeper.

As luck would have it, Heimdall knew nothing of Loki's whereabouts, since he had kept cleverly hidden. The only option was to wait until the fifth day of next month and wait for Loki to reappear. Until then, he grew more and more furious every passing minute, mind filled with violent scenarios about how he would make that insufferable trickster pay.

A month and five days later, he saw his chance. Heimdall reported that the rain dancer had been spotted in another village greedy for rain (honestly, Thor thought he had given these villages plenty, but apparently not, if Loki's popularity was any indication--or that could be for other reasons). The thunder god immediately set out for the Bifrost and arrived in Midgard, tracking down the tiny town easily.

It wasn't hard to find Loki; all he had to do was look for a large mass of spectators. When he did find one, he pushed his way through and stood at the front of the would-be display. Sure enough, Loki appeared in a puff of green smoke, looking dazzling as ever. He seemed to be wearing a long emerald skirt this time that opened at the sides and looked rather lovely in contrast to the pale expanse of flesh. But now was not the time for admiring the other man; it was time for retribution.

Without preamble, he whipped off his cloak and ignored the gasps behind him, as well as the telltale sound of worshippers bowing. Just like last time, Loki stood standing, though he looked as if he were in on a private joke. His amusement did nothing to quell Thor's rage.

"Trickster," he growled, stalking up to confront his prey. The man in question just looked confused, but there was no way he'd fall for that again.

"The Mighty Thor, what--" he lunged for the man's neck before he could finish, squeezing just enough to make breathing difficult. The shorter man gasped for air as Thor lifted him off the ground, clawing at the large hands on his throat. Thor did not relent this time.

"You not only refuse to show respect for your god," he bellowed, "but the audacity and utter foolishness to  _lie_ to him!" It looked as if the mortal was about to pass out, so he dropped him on the ground, watching as the younger man rubbed his neck and didn't get back up. He simply shifted so he was sitting on his knees before the thunder god.

Thor willed himself not to be distracted by it, but the sight was too enticing. Loki, on his knees, skirt brushed back to expose his thighs, was staring up at Thor with that same defiant expression, though it looked as if he was actually a bit afraid this time. His hair had fallen in his face and his face was flushed as he tried to refill his lungs with air.

He could feel the heat in his groin creeping up without his permission, his cock already half-hard. The sorcerer seemed to notice this and licked his lips. Thor didn't know if it were because of fear or anticipation, but it heated his blood all the same.

"If I lied, then how do you explain your manhood now clamoring for attention?" He flicked his gaze back up to Thor and actually stood up, seeming more confident with the question Thor didn't have an answer to. Well, he did, he just didn't want to give Loki that answer.

"You have clearly conditioned me to respond this way," he shot back. Some of the bravado drained from Loki's face and he stepped back into a defensive stance. Surely, he didn't expect to win against Thor, did he? Unless he was planning something else...

"Or perhaps you just don't know what you speak of."

He took a menacing step forward. "Enough lies, Loki." The name came off easy on his tongue, as they normally came to blows with each other. "I know now of the seductive charm you have used and I do not appreciate those who steal my powers and then  _trick_ me into believing they didn't."

Finally, Loki sighed and hung his head, as if Thor would chop it off right there. "Then what would you have me do to repay you, Oh Mighty Thor?" He seemed far from being regretful, but it was clear the mortal knew he had drawn a line and would do no good to push it further.

Just a month ago, Thor would answer that question with his fists, perhaps even his hammer. Now though, with the younger man standing before him in little dress, offering to repay him for the trouble he caused, he found himself siding with his aching manhood more than his violent urges.

"Well," he began, pacing towards Loki, whose head shot up as he started stepping back. "Since you have stolen something from me," he backed Loki up into a wall, reveling in how the man's eyes darted back and forth looking for an escape, "then it is only right I steal something from you."

He used his arms to cage the smaller man in, leering down at him with a predatory grin. Making his intentions quite clear, he pushed his clothed erection against the other man, grinning when he was rewarded with a small "ah!" Whatever the trickster was about to say died on his tongue for a moment, until he spoke up again, a cheeky smirk plastered on his face once more.

"You can't steal something that's already been taken," he whispered, as if Thor would stop if he knew Loki wasn't a virgin.

"Well, then I'll just have to take it again," the thunderer rumbled back. The trickster opened his mouth to retort--probably about how illogical that statement was--until he leaned down to caress the younger man's throat with his tongue. A startled moan escaped Loki, who finally seemed to realize there was no escape from this.

Thor grinned and set upon getting his revenge.  

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to write a second part to explain why I marked this "dubious consent", but...we'll see.


End file.
